Disclaimer: I am a huge advocate for nursing and there are SO MANY positives when it comes to nursing. But it doesn’t work for everyone, and like pregnancy, I think there are times when we try to make it seem so special and beautiful that we give the wrong impression. I respect anyone’s decision to nurse or not to nurse. You can form a bond with your baby giving them a bottle every night.  I’ve seen a lot of lists out there about all the positives of breastfeeding and sometimes, I’m not quite sure what miracle baby they’ve been breastfeeding… For those who do nurse, lets be realistic about 10 reasons why breastfeeding can be a huge PITA.

1. The Pump: If you are a working mom, or ever want to get away from your child for more than 3 hours, the pump is essential. Now covered by most insurance companies (thanks, ObamaCare), at least you don’t have to shell out 200 dollars for one. Unfortunately, no matter how “stylish” (read: generic tote bag that looks like a purse but you can’t really fit anything in) this is always going to be an added pain to lug around. And don’t even get me started with the cleaning, disinfecting, and leaking bags. Crying over spilled milk is totally a thing.
   
2. The Cooler: Because the pump, the baby bag, your own purse, and the stroller wasn’t enough, now you need to make sure that you have a mini cooler with an ice pack (that had to actually make it into the freezer at night and back into the bag in the morning. While having milk, typically, always available on demand vs having to pay for formula, if you are a working mom, it comes with a lot of extra baggage.
3. The Cover: Which brings me to another piece of crap you have to drag around with you. The best part? Everyone wants you to wear it because God forbid you bare those beauties to feed your baby and they see a little nipple. I get it. Watching people eat is gross, so obviously also watching babies eat would be gross. We should all wear covers. No, but really, now I have to try to be discreet, nursing my little one who is in the process of trying to rip this thing covering him (or tries to strangle me with it) off. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a baby who actually just happily nursed. And if it’s summer and you are not in air conditioning? Major boob, baby head sweat. Talk about gross, Dude.
4. Skin to Skin Contact: Nursing is fantastic because you build that bond and have effortless skin to skin contact with your baby. This is absolutely adorable the first 6 months. But when you have a two year old who hasn’t nursed in over 6 months, who still wants to have skin to skin contact, it gets a little annoying.   Putting baby to bed is very sweet, but when your kid feel it necessary to reach into your skirt and tune you like a radio, lift your shirt in Wal-mart cause he needs his head against your stomach, or thinks your stomach is something to ricochet his head off of, it’s a lot less cute.
5. Unsolicited Opinions: “Don’t you think he’s a little old to be nursing?” “I didn’t nurse my child, and they are just fine.” “I bet you co-sleep too. Don’t you think you are making him too independent?” As a new parent (or any parent for that matter), we are already submerged in unsolicited opinions and advice. However, if you want more than the average parent, nurse your child beyond 3 months. The floodgates will open and you will forever wonder how your baby will survive with such a horrible mother.
6. Leaking: Do I really need to go into this?
7. Diet: If you breastfeed, you’ll lose that baby weight instantly! True for some, though not all. Very similar to when pregnant, you really only need to take in an extra 200 to 300 calories. If you are exclusively breastfeeding, typically you’ll burn about 500 calories from milk production. However, once you stop breastfeeding, you need to remember to adjust your diet accordingly or pack on an extra 25 lbs after you lose all that pregnancy weight.
8. Boob Nazis: You would think, that because you are nursing, it would keep the Boob Nazis away. But no, no matter what, it seems like they still appear. When I was nursing, I really struggled for the first two months. I was told a variety of things: I had a yeast issue (I did not); that I didn’t have a good latch (partially true); that it shouldn’t hurt (I don’t know why they tell you this at the beginning. It hurts at first, like sharp horrid glass being jammed into your breast); that soothing my child, telling them they are ok so I can put on my jacket, is not ok because obviously they are not ok if they are crying (ok, this one has nothing to do with nursing but annoyed me anyways)! However, there are these wonderful things called lactation consultants who can help.  Mine was able to identify my son’s tongue tie but more importantly, reminded me that nursing was half me and half baby.  My baby was a lazy nurser and that wasn’t my fault.
9. Engorgement: Rocks for boobs. It’s not attractive and is incredibly painful. At that point, you are basically looking for a hungry child (any will do) or a pump. And you need it right now.
10. Biting: Ow. Ow. Ow. Excruciating.  Once those little ones get teeth, this is bound to happen once or twice (or every time).  Depending on how long you nurse really plays into this situation.  By 18 mos, my son had quite a mouth full of teeth (like 8) and seemed to like making me jump.  Needless to say, I’m glad I stopped at 18 mos (for physical reasons; Emotionally, I still miss this time).